It started as a joke at Darkovercon back in 1997. I was teasing Kathy Sobansky about her ongoing reluctance to sing the bawdy song "Bend Over, Greek Sailor" since she became a mother. Figuring that it might be possible to undermine her morals with a hint of filthy lucre, I suggested paying her to sing it. She remained reluctant. What if I raised a hundred dollars, I inquired? At that point she surrendered: if I could raise a hundred dollars, Clam Chowder would sing "Bend Over Greek Sailor" at the Clams concert that night. She didn't think I could do it.
But I knew several people with an evil sense of humor who'd be glad to chip in. I asked several before the concert, and came close, but not quite to the magic number. No problem - I figured there'd be some suckers in the audience who'd be willing to pony up. So at the intermission of the concert, I stood on a chair, took a deep breath, and projected loudly to the entire room that Kathy Sobansky would sing "Bend Over, Greek Sailor" if we raised enough money.
And the money came pouring in. Over $600 in a few short minutes; obviously Darkovercon harbored previously unsuspected depths of bawdiness. At the prompting of Harold Feld, we begged and pleaded our way up to $613 exactly, that being a Judaically significant good number. When the Clams came back from break, I marched up to the stage, presented Kathy with the money, and demanded the song. She was so stunned she didn't even have the words handy, but Harold Feld was ready with a copy from the audience. Kathy blushed (the other Clams didn't, though), and they sang. Alex Latzko commented that we should call Guinness - this had to be the most ever paid for a bawdy song.
And that was the start of something wonderful. Kathy and Ed Sobansky donated the money to Children's Hospital, getting matching funds. So in 1998, we decided to do it again. It was a roaring success. This time I could beg from the stage with a microphone, and as we approached $1,000 in donations, we started pushing to actually double our numbers - and did, collecting $1,226, plus assorted foreign currency, once again matched. Ed Sobansky choked up as he thanked the audience for our incredible generosity to Children's Hospital.
By 1999 we had gotten organized - I put a sign up at con registration announcing the fundraiser and collected money at the door as well a at intermission. Jaelle contributed big cushy front-row armchairs at the concert as auction items, proceeds to the B.O.G.S./Children's Hospital fund. We had a crew of Wenches collecting money and a crew at the tech table counting and sorting. That year we once again doubled our money, raising over $2,500 to be matched. Children's Hospital had taken notice of our donations by now, and sent along thank-you pins.
For 2000, it was clear that the doubling donations could not continue, but we pushed to break our own record. Once again we had chairs at the concert to auction off, as well as some old Clams LPs. We had our sign, our Wenches (and one Mensche), and our counting crew. Dr. Gandalf chipped in to help with the fundraising patter. Amazingly, we managed to raise over $3,000, once again matched for our donation to Children's.
For a convention the size of Darkover, this is astonishing - over four years, we have contributed over $7,000 to Children's Hospital; with matching funds, we are responsible for almost $15,000. It's impossible to thank all the people who've donated over the years - and some of the largest donors (including a $300 donor) particularly wish to remain anonymous. We will be fundraising once again for Children's Hospital this year at Darkovercon, with our goal as $3,500. Every dollar goes, matched one for one, to Children's. Please consider helping us out, and come sing and laugh along to "Bend Over, Greek Sailor" at the Clam Chowder concert this year!
Susan de Guardiola
B.O.G.S./Children's Hospital Fund Organizer
